


You're Not Invinsible

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 18:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6968383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kevin breaks under the stress of trying to translate the tablet. Sam recognizes the situation and manages to bring Kevin back to himself.</p><p>Could be bromance, could be romance, but when I looked it up and realized Kevin was just barely eighteen I was like eeeehhhhh...</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not Invinsible

The tablet was there. It was always there. It mocked him. The symbols danced in front of his eyes, and made them tear up.

One tear fell.

His head hurt. It really hurt. The symbols turned to words, and pictures, too fast, confusing him.

When was the last time he ate? It didn't matter.

He felt his skin start to crawl as another wave of heat flew over him. It seemed to be part of this horrible job. The fevers that came with the headaches, that came with pictures flashing by his eyes too fast to see.

He gritted his teeth against the nausea.

He heard a door open, far away, or maybe very near, but he couldn't tell. His grip on the tablet tightened. He prepared to run.

"Hey Kevin, how you doing?" Dean asked.

His words felt like knives in his head, and he barely kept from flinching away. It seemed like every sound was too loud.

"I'm alright. Can you get me some water? If it's no trouble?" He asked.

Can't overstep his boundaries. Stay simple.

"Sure, I'll have Sam bring it too you. I'm going out for groceries. Want anything?"

The mention of food made his stomach flip. He clenched his jaw.

"I'm ok." He smiled.

He had to be.

Quickly, he looked back at the tablet, and Dean shrugged and left. He wasn't very perceptive around him. He'd also forgotten the water.

Maybe he hadn't though. Maybe he didn't remember Dean going to talk to Sam, because then Sam was in front of him holding a glass.

"Kevin? Are you alright?" Sam asked.

The one question he couldn't hear. The breaking point.

Kevin felt his breaths pick up. In... and out. In... and out. In and out. In and out. Inandout. Inandout.

It was too loud for his ears. It was like having them plugged, and suddenly everything around you is muted, while all you hear in your own breathing.

It sounded foreign.

He felt his fingers start to drum on the table. A nervous habit. Then the whimper. That one sound he couldn't help but let out. He looked up.

Sam was watching him.

Suddenly it was tenfold. He felt himself seize up, and he pulled his knees to his chest. They kept sliding off his chair, so he turned sideways. His hands trembled from the low blood sugar. His face felt numb from the lack of oxygen. His hyperventilation was becoming dangerous, even he knew.

He'd rather pass out anyway.

"Kevin, I need to pick you up." Sam said quietly.

Kevin wasn't sure when he got so close, but he knew he was moving. He was being carried. He balled his fist in Sams shirt.

He whined.

"Almost there." Sam whispered. He almost didn't hear him over the thudding in his ears. The rapid sound of his heart beating.

It was too fast.

"Drink this." Sam said. He pushed a straw in his mouth, and he drank, despite not knowing what it was, or when Sam got it.

He was losing time.

He was on a bed now. It was soft, but not so soft that he sank into it. He liked it.

"Breathe Kevin. Breathe." Sam said quietly.

He did. The noise in his ears lessened. The pressure in his head increased.

"Kevin, hold my hand. Squeeze. Real tight. Let's see how much strength you have." Sam instructed.

Kevin couldn't do it. He reached out and instead of touching Sams hand, he touched his arm.

The room was spinning.

"Breathe Kevin. It'll be ok. No more tablet for today." Sam said. Kevin quickly tried to sit up.

"Hav' to work." He slurred. Sam put a hand on his chest and gently lowered him back. Kevin reached out and managed to hold on to that hand.

"Kevin, listen to me. No more tablet. No more. It's ok. You're killing yourself. No more." Sam repeated.

It finally clicked.

A break. He was getting a break. He felt the air leave his lungs in a punch, and his throat tightened with a noise he wasn't expecting. Sam leaned forward and pulled him up.

They were hugging. He was... Crying? There were no tears now. Maybe he was dehydrated.

"It's ok. I'm so sorry. If I'd known you were this bad off, I would have stopped you ages ago." Sam whispered.

That was nice, the whispering. It wasn't too loud. His ears felt a little better.

"You need to drink this Kevin. Drink this water, then go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." Sam said.

Kevin sipped from the straw when Sam put it in front of his face again. It tasted funny this time, and his face scrunched up involuntarily. He didn't care.

The world was getting fuzzy.

"That's it. There's no more. Kevin, let go." Sam smiled. He pulled the straw from Kevin's mouth.

"Go to sleep now. We can talk when you wake up." Sam said.

He let his eyes fall shut.

* * *

When he woke, the first thing he registered was the throbbing in his head. It was like he had been clubbed, but of course, on the inside. Damn headaches.

He grimaced as he looked around. The memories were coming back in bits and pieces, and although he no longer felt like he was a live wire, he now felt drugged. His limbs were too heavy, and he had cottonmouth.

"Kevin?"

He turned, and saw Sam sitting on a chair by the bed, a book in his hand. He put it down and turned to give Kevin his full attention. He had a smile on his face, but it was a worried one. Kevin grimaced as he looked at him.

"What happened?" Kevin asked.

"Pretty sure you had a panic attack. I just brought you in here to rest. Do you feel any better?" Sam asked.

"Sort of. My head hurts. I feel weird. Like... Too slow." Kevin said cluelessly.

"Yeah, sorry. I put a few pills in that water I gave you. It's just anxiety medicine, but it can make you feel weird." Sam chuckled. Kevin looked at him scandalously.

"You drugged me?"

"Again, sorry. You needed the sleep though." Sam said.

"Where'd you get them?"

"The pills?"

"Yeah."

"They're mine."

Kevin looked up again. He focused on Sams face this time, despite how hard it was. He didn't look like he was lying.

"That surprise you?"

"Yeah. You don't seem the type."

"What type?" Sam asked. He looked innocent, but Kevin knew he wanted to hear his answer for a bigger reason.

"The scared type." Kevin relented.

"Neither do you. Here we are though." Sam smiled. He reached across the bed and moved his hand closer. An offer.

"You don't need to lie. I've always been the weak type."

"When did it change to weak?" Sam asked. Kevin shrugged.

"Well it's not. Not for anyone. Especially not you. I just don't see that. I see... A kid who frustrated, and in pain, and loses control sometimes. Doesn't make you weak, doesn't make me weak. It makes us human." Sam said easily.

"How do you know?" Kevin snapped.

"I learned it."

Kevin sighed and slumped back down. His head was really pounding now. Still, he took a deep breath and prepared to stand up.

"I didn't mean you were weak. I just mean, I guess I am." Kevin said. He pushed off the bed and Sam rushed to stop him.

"No no no, you lay back down. I'm going to bring you some crackers and juice. Think you can keep that down?" Sam asked. Kevin nodded.

"Alright. Don't try to move, seriously." Sam warned. Despite wanting more then anything to just get up, force himself to be ok, he stayed.

When Sam returned, he indeed had crackers and juice. It was apple, not his favorite, but Kevin reached out for it anyway. When he drank from it, he thought it was the best thing he'd ever tasted.

"Kevin, when was the last time you consumed anything? Other then today?" Sam asked.

"Don't know. The days sort of blur together. But... Days." Kevin said sheepishly. He expected some sort of scolding, but Sam just nodded.

"What about sleep?"

"Like I said... Sorry."

Sam shook his head and looked away. He almost looked sad. Kevin tried to drink more, but he found himself just waiting for his next words.

"I'm so sorry."

It didn't really take him by surprise. He just nodded and sipped more apple juice before speaking up.

"It's ok. It's my fault." He said easily.

"No, it's our fault. All of us. Dean hasn't been checking on you enough, and I haven't been checking on you enough. I should have known the tablet would mess with your head, but I didn't even think about it." Sam said quietly.

"It's ok. I'm fine. I can get back to work soon, and-"

"No. No more. You need a break. You're not our slave Kevin. I don't want you to be. I want you to be my friend, and you can't be that when your wasting away. No, from now on, you work this like a regular job. Ten-to-five, then quit. A couple of days off a week, if not more. Breaks during the day for meals." Sam listed.

"What about Dean?"

"Screw Dean, I'll make sure he lets you rest, and if he has a problem, he can deal with me." Sam said. Kevin nodded. He reached out and accepted the hand that was on the bed.

"Thank you." Kevin said, smiling a little. Sam smiled back.

"Here, eat these crackers, then lay back down. I'll go find you some aspirin." Sam said. He handed the box to Kevin and stood up.

As soon as he was gone, Kevin tore open the box with shaky fingers. He swore as he realized he couldn't open the bag. He looked around before he realized he had a knife in his pocket, and dug it out.

When the bag was open, he took a cracker out and took a small bite. It wasn't that good, and kind of tasted stale, despite not being open before. Still, he ate until Sam came back, then put the box on the night stand.

"Here, take this. It'll help your head. Maybe. I don't know how this tablet affects you." Sam said. Kevin accepted the pills and swallowed them dry.

"You... Didn't want some water?"

"No. I'm kind of nauseous from drinking too fast earlier. I can feel it sloshing around." Kevin said. Sam grinned, and Kevin managed a small smile back.

"Kevin, how are you? Mentally? I mean, how do you feel?" Sam asked. Kevin shrugged.

"I guess neutral. I don't really feel anything. Since this started, everything kind of faded. Nothing is important when you're the one saving the world." Kevin said. He smiled, but from personal experience, Sam knew there was no meaning behind it.

"You're depressed."

"Wouldn't you be?"

Sam stayed quiet instead of answering. He watched Kevin eat a few bites, then stood up and got his laptop.

"Sci-fi fantasy, or dumb comedy?" Sam asked.

"What?"

"I've got Netflix. We're watching a movie." Sam said.

"Oh, um... Comedy I guess. But I might just go to sleep."

"That's fine." Sam assured him.

* * *

Thats how they ended up, asleep, tangled together, pitch perfect on the menu screen after ending. Dean walked in, gun aimed silently, looking for where they went. 

"Something you wanna tell me Sammy?" Dean said loudly. Sam jumped up, and Kevin fell off the bed with a thud.

"Oh- sorry! You alright?" Sam asked quickly.

"Peachy." Kevin mumbled.

"Dean, what are you doing?"

"Looking for you and Kevin." Dean said.

"We were just resting, sorry. Kev, go back to sleep." Sam said. Kevin grumbled and slid back under the covers, while Sam shoved Dean out the door.

"Dude, really? Not only do you not tell me your gay, but you're gay for Kevin? He's like a kid Sam." Dean fussed.

"Well he is eighteen."

"SAM!"

"I'm kidding! Dean, I'm kidding. Kevin's had a hard day. He kind of freaked out on me earlier."

"Why were you sleeping with him then?"

"We were watching a movie. I just fell asleep." Sam said easily. Dean huffed and looked him over.

"Is he ok?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I think he'll be fine. Listen, he needs breaks. Otherwise he won't be fine. He's close to cracking, Dean."

"So, what, we give him a schedule?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, probably. And an alarm, he's losing time. Maybe we can snap him out of it if he has a clock beside him." Sam said.

"Alright. I'll try to find an old notebook or something and write down a schedule. You got a clock somewhere?" Dean asked.

"No Dean, I don't have a clock lying around."

"Alright, touchy."

"Only when it's a stupid question." Sam grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, bitch. Go lay back down with your underage boyfriend. I'll go write that thing up."

"He's not underage! He's not my boyfriend! Dean!" Sam fussed. Dean just trotted away grinning.

"Jerk!" Sam yelled after him. Dean flipped him off as he ran.

Sam sighed and walked back in his room. He shut the door, and looked up. Kevin was staring at him.

"So how much did you hear?"

"All of it." Kevin shrugged.

"I really was kidding-" Sam started, but Kevin held up a hand.

"Dude, it's fine. Come on, restart the movie so I can mindlessly fall asleep again." Kevin said.

He pulled back the covers, and Sam ducked his head in thanks. He crawled back into bed, and clicked a few times to let the movie restart.

"So, you totally have a crush on me." Kevin said abrubtly.

"I-I don't." Sam said quickly, making Kevin laugh.

"Aw, its ok. I think you look good for and old man, you might meet my standards." Kevin teased.

"Shut up!" Sam chuckled.

"Ok, alright. Now I'll go back to sleep." Kevin relented.

He turned away and shut his eyes, a little smile on his face. Sam rolled his eyes, but he too smiled.


End file.
